i dont know, probably awesome.
i just started 11th grade, now every little thing i school counts, so you dont need a boy messing with your head right?
yeah well too bad life always gives you what you need the least of all, a cute guy who wants...what exactly does he want? well i have no idea! the only thing i do know, is that he gives me butterflies, if i want them or not.
so im sure you all want to know the whole story if you can even call it a story and if not, then why the hell are you still reading?
so theres this guy who is new in my like year in school, and i hes in my biology and english leistungskurse and in my maths and politics grundkurse, so i see him like a lot. and we mostly sit across from each other and we sort of more or less have this eye contact thing going, then he like started texting me over facebook ( i know, i know facebook, right?! but whatever) and hes being all cute und flirtsy, no details about the subjects we talked about there might be underaged people reading this, haha! and then we liked talked on the telephone a couple of times, for like 1 1/2 hours and it was fun and stuff. if everything was just like that id be like, yeah everythings perfect well see where it goes. but sadly thats not all, first of all hes like perfect and im so not kidding, hes a good student, he plays basketball really well, hes good looking, and hes nice, i mean the really nice kind of way like tutoring people i maths for hours like without expecting money or anything else in return, i mean thats not normal right?! then theres the problem that i cant judge if hes treating me the same as all the other girls he talks to or if he does maybe possibly sort of behave like he could kind of like me, you know? because hes like texting a friend of mine, and she seems to have the impression, that he likes her and ohmygod this is so complicated. anyway thats not all, the biggest problem is that he just came out of this really long intense realtionship with a absolutly beautiful girl and i think he likes her. this is so typical right, im starting to get the feeling that i might be able to trust guys again after my last relationship and i meet a guy i could sort of probably like who like has the same issue that i had for the last months, i mean what the hell? the universe really has a bad sence of humour.
and im scared to like get all over my head in this and then getting hurt again, im scared of not being able to pick myself up again.
i know i should just wait and see what happens, but i dont know if i have the strength inside me to overcome another disappointment, i mean i think that ive finally managed to let my heart heal and i dont know if i can let it break again. i dont wont to be so dependant again and watch myself break.
but is it worth to let the chance of happiness pass, by building a wall around me, as not to get hurt?
and it is just typically me of to read so much into just little acts of someone and to interprete so much into them.
so i guess ill just have to wait and see and when the time comes find the strength to try again and again and again.
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