"Your heart just breaks, that's all.
But you can't judge, or point fingers:
You just have to be lucky enough to find someone who appreciates you."


yeah well, id say that too, if i were audrey hepburn.


but im not, so i can judge and i can point my finger at you and say its your fault.
you made me fall in love with you and i dont know when it happened, was it while we were having one of our long phone conversations? while we were laughing and fooling around? while we were having one of our stupid fights? while you were treating me like i was nothing to you for hours, but then just for a second i caught that look in your eyes, the one that made me feel part of your world, that made me feel like i was everything?
i dont know when i fell in love, but i did.
and it hurts,
but i cant stop
i cant stop talking to you.
i cant stop hoping you feel the same.
i cant stop my heart racing when i talk, laugh and cuddle with you.
i cant stop.
but i wish i could, because you dont appreciate me.

and you dont deserve me.

"There are certain things in life that are better off unknown, things you wish you never asked, never saw, never heard or never even felt." okay so i dont exactly know who said this, but the person was seriously right.
for the first time i realized, there wont be the happily ever after i hoped for, for the first time the reality hit me.
even though for the longest time i pretended that i didnt even know if i wanted the happily ever after with the boy, who makes me feel special, who makes me feel like i am worth more even though he doesnt know me that well, who makes me feel wanted. i knew and so did everybody else (well, that is the two other people, who know abou "us", us, what a joke) that i was kidding myself. of course i want my fairytale ending.
and i thought, hey maybe i found the right boy.
until i realized i didnt.
what can you do when you have this girl in your life, who outshines you, always. 
you arent seen, when standing next to her,
you are ignored, when shes talking,
you are not worth anything anymore, when the boy can have her, instead of you.
and what can you do, when despite all of that, you cant be mad at that girl, because you know her and love her too much.
and you always put her first. as do all the boys and everyone else. 
what can you do, when that girl likes the boy you like?
well you cant have your happy ending,
cause life isnt hollywood.
and the one girl gets every boy and the other girl doesnt get the one she wants.